Your face is a jimmy john
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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