She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
