what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
