Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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