didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
