nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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