is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
