That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
