week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
