This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
