let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
