my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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