I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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