Just fell off a train. Bad.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
