True but thats because hes a fetus.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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