don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm experimenting with sincerity
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize