forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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