is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
