sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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