I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
