I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
