this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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