Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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