I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
