How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
