did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I AM VODKA MAN
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
