Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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