he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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