Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I've blown a few things in my day
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
