Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize