we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
