Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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