Small penises have feelings too.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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