Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
