i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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