WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
