Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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