tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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