If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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