I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
