I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
