my vag is so smooth its legendary
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
