If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
