I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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