Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
