Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
be right there i have to get my cape
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
