When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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