Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I wear drunk well.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
