dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
