After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
