sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
