My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
