The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
