i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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