The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
