everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
