Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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