So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
