Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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