butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No subtext here. People are naked.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
