you guys were way drunker than both of me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
