Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize