Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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