Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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